Override the Inner Critic

As humans, we come with a built-in negativity bias, and while it may sound bad, we owe it credit for our survival as a species. Its tendency to assume the worst kept our early ancestors one step ahead of the saber-tooth tiger. We don’t face predators on a daily basis anymore, but our brain still functions as though we do.

We all hear that pesky inner voice that’s prone to catastrophizing, is quick to judge, and favors words such as “can’t,” “won’t,” and “shouldn’t.” We do need cautionary commentary from time to time, but unchecked self-criticism affects our well-being. Just like we choose to answer a phone call, we get to decide when we hand the inner critic the microphone.

Through mindfulness practice, we learn to distance ourselves from that voice in our head. We become an impartial observer able to notice disparaging or self-defeating thoughts pass through our mind without reacting to them or believing them. Over time, we can rewrite the inner script to that of an ally.

In this 5-minute practice, we silence the inner critic with awareness and patience, using the breath to take a step back and allow our thoughts to just pass through.

Practice

Build an Inner Mentor

Cultivating an inner mentor starts with showing friendliness towards yourself. Think about how you would encourage someone close to you dealing with a challenging situation. Would you berate them for being stupid or tell them to just give up? Not likely. You would acknowledge the difficulty and try to frame it from a positive perspective or at least help them see they have the strength to deal with it. You would let them know you’re on their side.

Practice

We begin to develop self-compassion by acknowledging our need for support. This 6-minute practice uses a concept from Joan Halifax, PhD, that you can create a sense of “having your own back” by bringing attention to the strength of your spine while softening the front body.